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Before Rob and I got married in 2008, we attended pre-marital counseling with the Minister who was performing our ceremony.  We did this for two reasons: {1} The state of Tennessee gives you a $60 discount off the cost of your marriage license if you participate in counseling and {2} Our officiant encouraged us to.  I'm so glad that we did because it has helped us in our marriage, in the beginning and even now.  We often refer to topics that arose during the sessions and have better communication skills because of that time.

One of the main things that we discussed during the session was Church.  

We are both Christians, but had not been actively going/participating in any church or fellowship settings.  I was raised a Southern Baptist {quite the majority here in Northeastern Tennessee} and Rob, being Filipino, was raised Catholic, although he's attended quite a few Baptist churches since moving to our small town.  I will say that I had a somewhat "falling-out" with the church after being burned by some of it's "loudest" members.  I had not given up my faith, but had retreated into my own ways of thinking.  I also attended college at a University that opened up my mind to other faiths and ways to believe in God and the world around us.  I began to have a different perception of God, Faith, Heaven that doesn't exactly vibe with the types of churches that I grew up being a part of.

With that said, Rob and I were not extremely interested in attending church when we got married, but a very important declaration was made by my soon-to-be-husband in the counseling sessions.  He felt that it was imperative that we attend and be active in a church when we have children.  Rob's ideas were not only that it would give our children a foundation in morals, faith in a Higher Power, but church would also give us and our children, a community to look up to and fellowship with other children and friends.

So, all during my pregnancy, we talked about church.  It also became a four letter word.  We shied away from the word because we knew that when we discussed it, we would eventually have to take that leap, but we were nervous and scared.  Why?  We hadn't attended in so long.  We weren't sure that we would find a church to accept us.  Crazy?  Maybe, but you have to understand that we live in a very, very small Southern town and we're a bi-racial couple.  We also wondered and knew we would have to confront our own beliefs.  We avoided the topic for 9 months... and a few more.  We would occasionally bring it up, but it always took a back seat to something else and we would busy ourselves on Sunday mornings to forget. 

Sophia's First Visit to Church

But last week, we were in a local store and began looking at Easter baskets, candy, and toys.  We picked out a basket for Sophia and Rob said, "It's too bad we don't go to church so she can go to an Easter Egg Hunt."  I replied with, "We can have a Easter Egg Hunt at our house."  He shrugged his shoulders.  So, I said, "Fine.  We're going to church on Sunday."  I was tired of us both putting it off and we had to just do it.

We had already discussed what churches we wanted to visit in our town, so we picked one and we went on Sunday.  We were so incredibly nervous... how in the world would Sophia act for an hour in a different place with all of those strangers?  She was great.  The service ended up going for an hour and a half.  She played with every little toy that I brought in her diaper bag and had a snack of goldfish, but she was a darling the whole time.  She even "sang" along with some of the songs.

So, to wrap up.  We have a few other churches to visit before we decide where we feel at home.  How are we to choose, though?  Maybe, we'll just "feel it"?  I don't know.  I know that some of the criteria that we are looking for is:

• A great youth program for Sophia
• A supportive, positive, teaching Pastor and atmosphere
• A church that doesn't put down others {or other churches} because of differences in opinions.  I feel like if you have to put others down in order to bring your message, then your message isn't strong enough to stand on it's own.
• A family.  A church family that will support my family, reach out their arms to my child, and love us... just as we are.

What do you look for in a church?  Any suggestions for us as we begin this important journey and discovery into our new found Faith?