But, I'm not going to tell it the way I originally planned. I just typed out the entire story and... deleted it. I let the bitterness and anger take over me again, the same way it did that day, and it's just not healthy. So, instead of that happening again, I'll give you the short version... in a much happier tone.
We had rented a Park Pavilion for Sophia's party. When we arrived to start decorating the Pavilion, there was another Birthday party going on. In the beginning, my father politely asked if they had rented the Pavilion and the people replied that they had not. He explained to them that we had, months in advance and told them politely that they would have to leave.
They refused.
What followed was negative, angry, and bitter. I lost my cool and am pretty sure that I looked exactly like this...
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| Mama Bear. |
They did finally leave, an hour later. They made us an hour late to start decorating for Sophia's party. It was fine, it turned out. We had enough time to get everything together and the best part... no one at the party had a clue what had happened the hour before. We pulled it off smoothly {on the outside, inside I was still shaking.}
I was so upset about the situation even days later. The mother at the "party before ours" claimed that I "ruined her daughter's birthday" by making them leave. I really worried that I had. Until... I came to the realization that I had planned my daughter's birthday party months in advance. I reserved that space, paid the
Rob said people react in different ways when they get "caught". They were caught using a Pavilion that they hadn't rented. When they were confronted, they decided to fight, not flight.
So, the Mama Bear came out in me. I know that is what it wass because I always choose "flight", but when it came to Soph's 1st Birthday, I found out, I am a Mama who will "fight" for her children.
What about you? Has your Mama Bear instinct came out in a way that you didn't expect?
I'd love to hear your story to make me feel a bit better!
12 comments:
This seems to be a problem with pavilions. My cousin rented one for her son's birthday last year and the same thing happened. Luckily, the park has a "ranger" and when the other family refused to leave, my cousin's husband just asked the ranger to intervene. This particular park has the entire days schedule written out on a dry erase board posted on each pavilion (I think there were about 3, all for rent) so with a driver's license, they were able to prove that they were, in fact, the S.F. family there for L's party. The ranger told the other family to leave or he would be forced to call the police for trespassing. It's so ridiculous that people think they can get away with essentially stealing, especially on a weekend!
She was the classic example of one thing that I think is wrong with the world: Not taking responsibility for one's own actions. Rather than acknowledging that she had wrongfully been at the pavilion, she chose to blame you for actually renting the pavilion, which apparently ruined her daughter's birthday party. Likely she was embarrassed in front of her children, but that is no reason to blame anyone else!
The entire family should have realized that by choosing to have the party there, they might get caught. I think one of the biggest disservices parents do is not accepting responsibility for their own actions. All this does is teach children to place blame and be confrontational.
oh man, i think i would have flipped out on them as well. A total mama bear would have came out on them! I think YOU did the right thing. You did not ruin their daughter's party!! They should have been responsible enough to go about it correctly.
Sorry you had to deal with that on such a special day.
Oh hon, don't feel a bit bad!! You didn't do a thing wrong, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
I had a mama bear moment just a couple weeks ago when an adult neighbor got in my 8-year old daughter's face because she didn't want to play with the neighbor's 4-year old. I confronted them, was cussed at, called names, and more. I responded by raising my voice, and I STILL feel upset when I think about it. Thankfully, the guy threatened me with COURT because I don't always answer my door when his 4-year old knocks on the door, and that threat got my husband riled up and I wasn't the only bear out there! :-)
I would have done the exact same thing. The thing is, even though I'm not a mom yet, I'm fiercely loyal... to a FAULT. Therefore, I'm always the one stepping in in order to get a wrong made right for my family and super close friends.
More than once I have had to stand up to people for my younger (by 8 years) brother, husband, and sister. Therefore, I can't imagine how I'm going to be with my own kids :o)
This is exactly the way I would have reacted! I am a huge planner and for this exact reason! You paid for that area and those people had no right to not move when they were explained the situation. Whomever you paid to rent the area should have been involved as well-maybe even have had your area marked off for you!
I am so there right now! I am such a non-confrontational person, but now that I have two babies depending on me... I've seen a different side of myself. Last week, I marched right over to the neighbors (who I used to be scared of) and told them that my babies were sleeping, so they'd better turn down that music! LOL
Oh hun, my teeth woulda been bared too. If someone is taking up space that is rightfully ours due to paying, whatever, I get upset. This was not a matter of who got there first.
You didn't ruin her daughter's party - she did. Now if both of you had managed to rent on the same day or the times overlapped, that'd be different.
I've been in someone else's spot before (like concert seats) but as soon as the "owners" come, I'll move. (I don't take their spot often and won't fuss when they come along)
I forgot to add - I get upset enough when people blatantly skip us/cut in front of us in line - especially when it's for dinner.
I think Beth really nailed it. This person chose not to accept responsibility for the situation. She didn't book (or pay for) the space. It is possible that she couldn't afford it. Or that she just didn't want to pay it. Who knows? But any way it goes, she didn't follow procedure. And when she realized that her ill-planned day wasn't going to work out, she got all Mama bear on YOU, but conveniently forgot that she was the one who didn't reserve the space.
I'm very sorry it happened to you. Even when you are totally in the right and someone else is being awful to you, it still really hurts to be treated that way, and to see how ugly people can be. When I've been in situations like that, I've had to work really hard on forgiving the person in my heart so that I can move on from it, and not give them any more of my mental energy. It's not easy to do, but that's my best advice moving forward.
How awful! That would have made my blood boil as well. You did NOT ruin that girl's party...her Mom ruined it by not planning ahead and booking the pavilion to begin with. I'm really sorry you had to deal with that.
I'm your newest follower from the Mom Blog Monday Hop. I really like your blog, your little one is adorable.
Growing Up Geeky - Latest post: Things I Regret
Oh Mama Bear! You rock! I think you did the right thing. You paid for it and did all the work. There is NO reason why you should not have spoken up. And I am SURE you were nice about it too - people shouldn't have to "give in" just b/c other folks are rude and nasty.
Unfortunately, my Mama Bear is buried deep. I am a big pansy when it comes to speaking up for myself... I would have WANTED to do the same thing but I probably would have chickened out and made my husband do it! :) LOL - he is so very charming and people always listen to him, whereas I have always found people walk all over me so it makes me afraid to speak up. But I WANT to! Oh beleive me! I admire your courage! :)
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